Trusting God

Hey, y'all : )  I know I haven't posted anything in a very long time, but I feel as though I've been so busy.  This summer isn't what I had expected it to be.  I'd made so many plans for the summer that involved making money for college, growing in my relationship with Christ, building friendships, serving my community and running.  It turns out that each thing has gone at least slightly amiss somehow and today I am feeling particularly discouraged.  Sadly, I can't eat a cookie to console myself because I am attempting to eat more healthy.  Waffles aren't an option, either : /  I'm not making as much money as I initially thought I would, and yet I often feel tired from work and running even though I don't have as many hours.  I also had planned to work with the downtown ministry but that only happened once, as work and other priorities got in the way.  I did successfully volunteer to lead worship for the preschool kids at my church, which I do every Sunday.  However, the children vary every week so it's hard to build relationship with them, and they usually don't really sing along haha.  In addition, I'm going through a hard time about something with my parents.  Since I'm at the age where I am able to make decisions for myself, it is difficult to learn to hear God's direction rather than automatically acting on what my parents say or what my own heart says; as the Bible rightly states, our hearts are deceitful above all things - sometimes I think mine even more so than others, at least when it comes to boys.  Anyway, all this to say, I have been thinking about trusting in God lately and how it applies to my own life.  We petty humans make plans all the time, have dreams, etc. and even when they are out of pure and good intentions they sometimes can go amiss or not be what God has in mind.  It is true that we cannot just sit around and act upon nothing - we have to meet God halfway - but when we do meet Him there it is essential that we allow him to work through us.  We are incapable of doing great or admirable things without the grace of God and His hand in our lives.  I have to be open to His direction and also trust that He is in control.  It can be really hard, too, but I am learning how to be gracious and unafraid, which is really important.  That's the thing - we cling to what we want and what we know.  When it comes time to trust God it's a scary thing because you are handing over something precious and important to Him...but in the Lord's hands is really the best place for our most precious dreams and plans to be.  Is it not?

One thing is for sure - no one invests great faith in someone that they do not know very well.   We are made for relationship with God and if we are not communicating with Him and practicing listening for His daily guidance, it will be hard to trust Him.  But as you do it more, it will become easier and you will get stronger each time.  As for myself, I think I am discouraged because I haven't been spending as much time with Him as I know I should be.  I need to love Him better and love Him MOST, and only then will I be able to effectively love others better and experience His joy and peace.