He Sees Me
I recently started school again; here I am at Northwest University. God has been showing me many things and I want to talk about it. Bear with me, though - sometimes I can't help but ride that struggle bus to say what I want to convey : )
Some days I feel like a leaf, but one day I will feel like an insignificant leaf and another day, a beautiful leaf. Some days I feel like a dry, fragile leaf; still other days I feel like a leaf shining with the dew of early morning. Other times I feel like a leaf dancing in the wind, carefree of where I will land.
A couple days ago I was feeling like an insignificant leaf. I was looking at other people and comparing myself to them, and making judgments about what certain people thought of me, whether they were true or not (assuming the worst, of course). Throughout the duration of the day, I continued to slip into the mindset that I was not special and just one of countless leaves on the tree. How could I, an imperfect "leaf" in the midst of so many, be noticed or chosen for a significant purpose? This carried on into the evening and I got ready for bed feeling a little sad.
Okay, let me explain something. I have dreams. I don't mean the kind while you're sleeping, but the kind that involve helping other people, adventure, love, passion and hard work. I have them. I just am afraid to claim ownership of them.
Anyway, I went to bed feeling less than capable of doing so, and thirsty. I did drink some water, but I mean thirsty for God - that pressing feeling in our chest when you know life in Jesus offers so much more but you don't know how to find the means to experience it. I prayed (I don't recall what exactly) and eventually fell asleep.
So yesterday I woke up, and little did I know I know what the day held. It was in the small things that made me so thankful, but I couldn't help but keep noticing God reminding me He sees me and cares for me. First of all, I woke up and ate my frosted mini wheats - the usual - which is a praise in itself because those things are delicious. Then I grabbed my backpack and opened the door to head to class, and low (literally) and behold, there is a little box on the ground! On top of it was a note and a cool shell. Suprised, I looked closer and saw the note had my name on it : ) Needless to say, I picked it up and proceeded to read it. It didn't say who it was from, but it was so thoughtful and encouraging to me. . .it was lovely and just what I had needed to hear. And the fact that I got shells, too, was a pretty spectacular bonus : )
Later that day it was open mic night and I was debating whether or not to play a song. I went to watch and brought my guitar just in case. As I was walking inside, an acquaintance of mine, Peter McMurrey, stopped and asked me if I was going to sing. I was shocked he would take the time to talk to me. I mean we had a class together last year, but he and his band are practically famous (I'm a huge fan). I said, "Eh, maybe, I'm not really that good at playing guitar." And what he said was so special - it was a quote from our writing class last year. He said, "But Joanna, remember? There is no competition..." and I finished it, quoting, "...only the fight to regain what is lost!". It was so neat being reminded of that neat concept, that it's not about comparing yourself to others. It's the passion and truth you bring to something; God made us each unique and we each have something to share and remind others of in our own way.
Lastly (not of the whole day, but in my list of 3), I read a poem my friend wrote before going to bed. It was beautiful and powerful to me, but the line that stood out the most was this - "I dance and the caverns of hell shake". That one statement just reminded me that I am wonderfully and beautifully made, and it is not when we feel small and unworthy that Satan cowers, but when we live in the abundant life Christ has given us and DANCE before the Lord...dance for love of Him, for what He's done for us. I was so encouraged by the end of the day and I'm writing this because I don't want to forget how He wooed me and reminded me of His love...because I know every day isn't like that. We have bad days, weeks, maybe even months, but it is important not to forget in the dark what He has shown us in the light. For now, though, He has made my heart light again : ) I would just encourage you to, each day, keep your eyes open for ways He wants to bless you. He cares about even the smallest things. And no matter what, there is always a reason to dance...even if the music is soft as can be, just listen, and you will hear it.
"I sing because He loves me and I sing because I'm free. His eye is on the sparrow and I know He's watching me"
Some days I feel like a leaf, but one day I will feel like an insignificant leaf and another day, a beautiful leaf. Some days I feel like a dry, fragile leaf; still other days I feel like a leaf shining with the dew of early morning. Other times I feel like a leaf dancing in the wind, carefree of where I will land.
A couple days ago I was feeling like an insignificant leaf. I was looking at other people and comparing myself to them, and making judgments about what certain people thought of me, whether they were true or not (assuming the worst, of course). Throughout the duration of the day, I continued to slip into the mindset that I was not special and just one of countless leaves on the tree. How could I, an imperfect "leaf" in the midst of so many, be noticed or chosen for a significant purpose? This carried on into the evening and I got ready for bed feeling a little sad.
Okay, let me explain something. I have dreams. I don't mean the kind while you're sleeping, but the kind that involve helping other people, adventure, love, passion and hard work. I have them. I just am afraid to claim ownership of them.
Anyway, I went to bed feeling less than capable of doing so, and thirsty. I did drink some water, but I mean thirsty for God - that pressing feeling in our chest when you know life in Jesus offers so much more but you don't know how to find the means to experience it. I prayed (I don't recall what exactly) and eventually fell asleep.
So yesterday I woke up, and little did I know I know what the day held. It was in the small things that made me so thankful, but I couldn't help but keep noticing God reminding me He sees me and cares for me. First of all, I woke up and ate my frosted mini wheats - the usual - which is a praise in itself because those things are delicious. Then I grabbed my backpack and opened the door to head to class, and low (literally) and behold, there is a little box on the ground! On top of it was a note and a cool shell. Suprised, I looked closer and saw the note had my name on it : ) Needless to say, I picked it up and proceeded to read it. It didn't say who it was from, but it was so thoughtful and encouraging to me. . .it was lovely and just what I had needed to hear. And the fact that I got shells, too, was a pretty spectacular bonus : )
Later that day it was open mic night and I was debating whether or not to play a song. I went to watch and brought my guitar just in case. As I was walking inside, an acquaintance of mine, Peter McMurrey, stopped and asked me if I was going to sing. I was shocked he would take the time to talk to me. I mean we had a class together last year, but he and his band are practically famous (I'm a huge fan). I said, "Eh, maybe, I'm not really that good at playing guitar." And what he said was so special - it was a quote from our writing class last year. He said, "But Joanna, remember? There is no competition..." and I finished it, quoting, "...only the fight to regain what is lost!". It was so neat being reminded of that neat concept, that it's not about comparing yourself to others. It's the passion and truth you bring to something; God made us each unique and we each have something to share and remind others of in our own way.
Lastly (not of the whole day, but in my list of 3), I read a poem my friend wrote before going to bed. It was beautiful and powerful to me, but the line that stood out the most was this - "I dance and the caverns of hell shake". That one statement just reminded me that I am wonderfully and beautifully made, and it is not when we feel small and unworthy that Satan cowers, but when we live in the abundant life Christ has given us and DANCE before the Lord...dance for love of Him, for what He's done for us. I was so encouraged by the end of the day and I'm writing this because I don't want to forget how He wooed me and reminded me of His love...because I know every day isn't like that. We have bad days, weeks, maybe even months, but it is important not to forget in the dark what He has shown us in the light. For now, though, He has made my heart light again : ) I would just encourage you to, each day, keep your eyes open for ways He wants to bless you. He cares about even the smallest things. And no matter what, there is always a reason to dance...even if the music is soft as can be, just listen, and you will hear it.
"I sing because He loves me and I sing because I'm free. His eye is on the sparrow and I know He's watching me"
Thank you so much Joanna!! So encouraging! I think you speak for many of us, as we're all on this journey together, going through the rough days and the wonderful days. I LOVED the quote "I dance and the caverns of hell shake." Mind blowing! :)
ReplyDelete