Grace not Faded

I have been dating a man for roughly two years now. I remember in the beginning - our heads and hearts were full with sincere, hopeful vision for our relationship and futures to be centered on glorifying God and serving others with openness and creativity. We soon began talking of marriage, about 5 months after Wilson asked me to be his girlfriend on that cold, beautiful October night.

It is now two years later, and that vision has faded from shiny-car-red to old-barn-brown. Now I know that sounds really depressing, but let me tell you why I'm not -- depressed, that is. For a long time, I could sense - sometimes vaguely, sometimes more sharply - our vision becoming dull. These past few months, I wondered time and again, "Why aren't we as bright as before?". 

Unfortunately, I didn't attend to this concern, as is my habit of doing. I tend to procrastinate on dealing with life-altering matters for the simple fact that they're usually quite uncomfortable. But it's a slow fade, friends. And the truth of the matter is that important concerns which require immediate attention don't usually seem important until you've been walking that road for far too long. Sometimes I find I have conversations with myself like this: "Why do those clouds look like they're getting darker? Hmm, I must be imagining it. Gosh, and I don't recognize the names on these signs. Oh well, I can't be that off track. Okay, is something wrong here because I'm not getting anywhere? Ah, but I don't want to admit I need help, and asking for it takes time."

But praise God. Seriously, praise the one and only God our Father. 

Somehow, He managed to get me to the place - the place where I'm brave enough to stare the problem straight in the face and hash it out, whatever it is. That's usually the issue for me. I often don't know the root of the problem, and it's hard work digging it out.

But God helped me do just that.

It's precisely why I'm not depressed about Wilson and I having faded. Because even though we've gotten a little lost, a little disoriented, it allows for God's grace to manifest itself all the more clearly. It's His grace that showed us - and yes, we had to dig - where and how we needed to redirect our vision.  And even though our current relationship is still a little rusty, from bad habits and souls gone untended, we have hope, and tangible changes to apply in loving each other and God best. The potential that we have to shine, radiant beneath the grace and authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, in my opinion, is one of the most hopeful places we could possibly be.