Defeating My Deaf Ears
I often wonder how to hear God's voice. Not sure of how to distinguish between my own and my King's, I resort to guessing. Something seems wrong with this to me, though. If a peasant (me) lives within the kingdom of any king, whether he be benevolent or oppressive, this peasant should have no problem knowing the difference between what the king tells him to do and what he thinks he should do. Decrees and words from kings do not go unnoticed and are usually not ambiguous. They are clear, defined, thought-out. The Bible says the sheep will know the Shepherd by the sound of His voice. It's true that I hear God's voice at times when I don't expect to - in random moments throughout the day He will tell me to pray for someone, pick up the mail for my mom, compliment someone - but it's when I go to Him specifically for an answer that I don't know how to listen.
I want to move to the rhythm of Jesus' heart, but I don't know how. I feel like I over think things and I don't know how to not let myself get in the way. Does anyone ever feel like this? I know there is no formula, but I want God to make good on His promises like "if you ask in My name, it will be given unto you" and the verses about knowing His voice.
John 10:3,4 says, "He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice."
I want to clarify that, although I become discouraged at times, I look back on my life and God has indeed lead me to take many important steps, small and large. I just don't exactly see it as being Him in the moment. Sometimes I just try to figure out the best option on my own, or go ahead with an idea if I have peace in my heart about it. Peace. I think that it can be a good indicator. It's funny, because about a year ago I was going to write about how to hear God's voice ON my blog haha. Funny how perspectives, even faith, changes over time. I am growing in Jesus, I know. I think that I am close to a breakthrough in my relationship with Him. With my mission trip, school, my boyfriend, and the new church I'm going to...I've had a lot to think about, a lot of growing to do. Being in a relationship with my boyfriend Wilson is an especially refining fire : ) I am blessed and feel very privileged to have such a faithful, spirit-led, and imperfect man at my side. He challenges me every day, whether he means to or not.
Anyway, I have to go get ready for class. I know this blog was short and rambling, but I'm just trying to get my fingers moving again (in the case of typing). If I have to bemoan the fact I'm confused about God's voice, so be it. At least I'm writing, which is another story entirely.
In closing, to God be the glory. He is King, and faithful to fulfill His promises. I know He sees and hears me. He's not disregarding my most, although sincere, pitiful and proud attempts to know Him better. I will just keep trying.
Break me, God. Batter my heart and meet me when I'm lost at meeting You.
I want to move to the rhythm of Jesus' heart, but I don't know how. I feel like I over think things and I don't know how to not let myself get in the way. Does anyone ever feel like this? I know there is no formula, but I want God to make good on His promises like "if you ask in My name, it will be given unto you" and the verses about knowing His voice.
John 10:3,4 says, "He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice."
I want to clarify that, although I become discouraged at times, I look back on my life and God has indeed lead me to take many important steps, small and large. I just don't exactly see it as being Him in the moment. Sometimes I just try to figure out the best option on my own, or go ahead with an idea if I have peace in my heart about it. Peace. I think that it can be a good indicator. It's funny, because about a year ago I was going to write about how to hear God's voice ON my blog haha. Funny how perspectives, even faith, changes over time. I am growing in Jesus, I know. I think that I am close to a breakthrough in my relationship with Him. With my mission trip, school, my boyfriend, and the new church I'm going to...I've had a lot to think about, a lot of growing to do. Being in a relationship with my boyfriend Wilson is an especially refining fire : ) I am blessed and feel very privileged to have such a faithful, spirit-led, and imperfect man at my side. He challenges me every day, whether he means to or not.
Anyway, I have to go get ready for class. I know this blog was short and rambling, but I'm just trying to get my fingers moving again (in the case of typing). If I have to bemoan the fact I'm confused about God's voice, so be it. At least I'm writing, which is another story entirely.
In closing, to God be the glory. He is King, and faithful to fulfill His promises. I know He sees and hears me. He's not disregarding my most, although sincere, pitiful and proud attempts to know Him better. I will just keep trying.
Break me, God. Batter my heart and meet me when I'm lost at meeting You.
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